Wednesday, November 30, 2005

If you want to know how to get me the perfect gift this Christmas/Birthday season you can check this site out! You can actually make it look like you’ve put some thought into what you give me. And the answer is no; that is NOT a picture of me on that web page. Don’t be a smart a**!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

There are two days I look forward to all year long. One of them is Christmas and the other is today, Turkey Day! Some might think that this is because of gifts, or family, or the introduction of cold weather. Well it’s not any of those reasons (not that those are a turn off or anything). The big reason I look forward to these two days is the food! Turkey, turkey, turkey! What more could I want? Turkey and mashed potatoes and corn and stuffing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie and whatever the heck else is on the table! I usually starve myself from the time I get up until the time we eat just so I can eat more. You know what would be nice? If I had a trap door in my digestive track so I could just eat all day long and never get full. Of course when I am ready for bed I’ll shut the trap door and get full just so I feel like I accomplished something today.

In other news it’s time to gripe about the weather people again. Why? Well it’s snowing outside right now which is great and there is about 2 inches of snow on the ground. The part I’m griping about is that if you look at the weather forecast for my area right now there is only the possibility for snow flurries today and the possible heavy squall. There’s two inches out there!!! I think we’re way past the flurry state here chief. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. How can people predict the weather in the future if they can’t even predict the weather in the past?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Top Ten Reasons to Want to Marry the Stillers:

10. They support their second string QB even when he throws 4 interceptions in one game.

9. This same QB still isn't as bad as Brett Favre.

8. It's all about the football and not the cheerleaders.

7. Two words. Terrible Towel.

6. The players aren't there for the money.

5. Hamburgers state wide are named after their primary QB.

4. They actually run the ball...with a man whose nickname is The Bus.

3. They aren't the Patriots, or a part of Boston Empire.

2. Their safety is some sort of organic magnet attracted to whoever has the ball on the opposing team.

1. They run plays where during a reverse their running back pitches it to their wide receiver who then proceeds to throw a perfect pass for 51 yards to their other wide receiver down field who catches the pass for one heck of a touchdown. Boo YA!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Why? It's a questions every single person has asked himself at least a dozen times. Today I asked this myself. Regarding what you ask? First let me set the scene...

To some people's surprise I still work at a camp during the summer. And although I take 2 weeks vacation from my current job each summer to be able to do this, I do enjoy myself and so do the kids. Anywho, Ever since I've started working there 4 years ago I've gotten to be good friends with another fellow counselor whom I'll call "Justin". Now "Justin" is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but the guy is the biggest movie buff in the history of the 21st century (which started in the year 2001 by the way, NOT 2000). This past summer was the first summer that the two of us roomed together, which at first I was a little concerned about (he's quite messy and darn proud of it) but soon grew accustomed too (my roommate for 3 years in college was a slob too). Justin is such a big movie fan that he owns movies that nobody has even heard of. It's quite possible he even owns Japanese movies that the Japanese have never heard of. It was always a race back to the dorm after camp was over for the day. If I got there first it was Nintendo's Beach Spikers for the next 3 hours. If Justin got there first, it was some noname, or really bad movie (I don't know how many times I had to watch Jackie Chan sing his stupid song from Mulan).

So one day I loose the race and I walk in the room and Justin is watching some black and white movie with awful acting, a poorly dressed mutant and a dancing skeleton with the wires clearing visible. The movie was called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and it was by far the worse movie I had ever seen in my entire life. So incredibly bad and boring that I fell asleep within the first 15 minutes of me watching it. Never, no matter how bad, had I ever fallen asleep during a movie before.

So back to my original story. Today while taking a break from the wonderful world of college football I came across the above movie on a cable channel. I recognized the movie immediately and recalled how horribly bad it was when I had last viewed it over 5 months ago. And to defy all human nature, what did I do? Instead of turning back to the college games, I stayed on the channel and watched the entire movie in all it's awfulness. And all during the movie, to my own surprise and bewilderment I asked myself, "Why?"

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Hi. My name is James and I have been video game free for 4 months now. It’s no secret that I am a video game junkie. In fact I would consider myself a videogame-oholic. And just like any other person addicted to some substance, whether it be physical or virtual, once I start, I can’t stop.

Despite my one time, ten hour straight marathon of Dynasty Warriors 3 and my secret affection for Morgan Webb, friends still call me to find out what is the latest and greatest in the video game realm. With keeping my addiction under control, my gaming lately has been very scarce. I feed my hunger by watching reruns of X-Play and wearing Mario Kart: Double Dash t-shirts.

But with the 2005 Christmas season quickly approaching, we are coming into another video game counsel escapade. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

The new XBox 360° is quite impressive indeed. I give it bonus props for using my favorite beverage, Mountain Dew, to advertise for the counsel and give them away every hour. The only downside is I already have one sitting right in front of me. I also have an original XBox as well. Sorry to burst your Microsoft gaming bubbles, but XBoxes, no matter how many times they spin around, will always be just glorified gaming PCs. Call me crazy but if I’m going to play games like Halo and Quake I’d rather have my trusty mouse and keyboard in my grip.

Moving on, Nintendo is going just crazy these days. First up is the new Game Boy Micro. It’s pretty slick and tiny. It mimics the old style NES controller with the D-Pad and the A, B buttons, but with a tiny screen in between. A pretty neat concept, but may be just a bit to small to really get into. I’ve tried to play NES games on my PDA and the buttons are just too darn close and small. But without having ever tried to play a Micro, maybe it’s completely different. It can play any GBA game so it already has a ton of games you can play on it.

Finally the big story here is the upcoming Nintendo Revolution. Sounds pretty incredible really, plus as always, Nintendo came up with a pretty cool codename for it (remember the Dolphin? Yeah it should have stayed that). Anywho, right now I’m pretty nervous about its controller. It’s completely…well…revolutionary. It’s a remote control style controller device that you might use to slice, dice, spin and win. Along with a built-in D-Pad, buttons, and expansion analog stick, the Revolution controller will also know your body movements. Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m playing a game where I want Link to slash his sword, I don’t want to actually to the slashing myself. These are video games after all not exercise routines. Call me old fashion but I like my two-handed, thumb controller and I’m not quite sure I’m ready to give it up to jump around the room like a 5 year old just to knock open a question mark block or two.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

What I learned about Wisconsin during my first ever visit and long two day stay there:
  1. Not as many people speak with the Fargo accent than I had hoped.
  2. The state is completely flat. As one person put it, "flat as pee on a plate." What does that even mean??
  3. They know how to drink. There a Bloody Mary is served in a beer glass and is followed by a cocktail chaser of beer.
  4. Newly erect Walmarts require outdated and stupid traffic circles.
  5. Rush hour traffic looks like this:
  6. Most people there are closet Viking fans...Who would have guessed?
  7. They get a whole week off for school at the start of the hunting season, not just one day (I realize people outside of PA might not get any. As someone who has never hunted, I enjoyed the free day off from school to sleep).
  8. The people there give you cheese. Lots and lots and lots of cheese. I don't like cheese . . .