Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Don't get me wrong. I really like my job and The Workplace, but I just can't DEAL with stupid road construction jobs. So what if The Workplace has dealings in the road construction business. Have you ever been stopped by those flag people before a road job? Well try being stopped by four of them in the same job! Incredible! I think my big ol' utility van should be allowed to just run those people over. Speaking of the big van, I have some more do's and don'ts. Do not attempt to slam on the brakes for a stop sign if your giant van does not have anti-lock brakes. Your 50 lbs UPS that was in the back of the van may just wend up chillin' right next to you. Also, don't assume that just becasue you drive a very huge van that people who pass you on the left will see that you are still next to them before they start coming back over. But beware, quick sudden movements to the right to avoid collisions may cause tools to fly about in the back of the van.

Oh and by the way, let me clearify what my job is. My job apparently is to help lazy people become even more lazy. Yes I am asked to modify software so that people can slack off more and not monitor all they are supposed to be monitoring. Apparently it is my job to inform people that they have not turned something on, that same something that can be checked just by one, not three, not five, not even two, but one simple click of a button. Come on now people. Help a young college grad out. If you're hired to do some type of task, don't expect me to write software so that you can do less. If you keep asking for this, maybe I'll just have the computer do it all itself so you can go off and fish. Of course, you would not be working for the same company I do anymore.
Boy I don't remember mondays being this rough back in school, although, I also didn't have to drive 2.5 hours to replace a zip drive, then .5 hours to find out that the plant the whole trip was planned for was without power, then 2 hours to get back to the office to do a little coding. Oh well. I suppose that is my job. And I'm kind of beginning to like driving the big honkin' utility van around. A word of caution: If you do happen to be driving a very large van up, down and around a mountain, particularly on route 30, take those turns SLOW! And make sure you remember to keep all your drawers latched so they don't make a mess all over the van floor.

Now on to a different topic. If I have to hear one more time about who spilled the beans about some unknown CIA agent, I think I'll just go bezerk! All right, listen up America! I DON"T CARE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST!! I mean, this person's name was spilled months ago and the big new stations just picked up on it now? What's the point of throwing the blame around now? It's done, so let just all move on. Plus I don't understand why the US can't just go out and collect and burn every single New York newspaper that was printed that day. I don't think that's very unreasonable at all . . .

Sunday, September 28, 2003

So let me tell you alittle about where I live, AKA, The Cove. It's called the cove because this area of the world resides in a place that is completely surrounded by mountains. Pretty much its a cove in the mountains, maybe that's where the name came from? So Matchstick Men came out a few weeks ago and my girlfriend and I decided to go see it yesterday evening, AKA, saturday night. Now it was raining and storming outside and the movie theatre is very nice (it even has seats for overweight people, or i guess it could pose as a seat for high school couples to make out in too) so I assumed there would be a decent amount of people there. A very wrong assumption. I guess people are too busy milking their cows and plowing their crop to come see a movie because there was approximately 20 people in that theatre. By the way, the movie is great. I highly recommend it. And for those who know me, you know that's a compliment when it comes to movies. Perhaps someday the locals, AKA, people who live with me in the cove, will stop milking cows and do something fun for a change, AKA, LIVE A LITTLE!
Oh I should add this, there was a big Amish wedding here last thursday. I must have past at least seven buggies on my way to work thursday morning. Just so you know, the old fashion Amish have their weddings on tuesday and thursday mornings at 9:00am. It takes me 15 minutes to drive to work, it takes a horse and buggy hours just to travel the same distance. Come on! How does that make cars evil?

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Wow, big surprise today . . . Still no cable modem! All right, I have had about enough of these shanagins. Feeling left out? About three weeks ago I called our cable company and told them I wanted broadband. They said, "Yeah! We'd be happy to do that, in fact we'll even give you the first two months free!" "Rock on!" I said. A week later they came out to install it. RAHHHHHH!! The cable lady says, "Your signal is too weak, I check the readings and I'm afraid that your cable line coming from the box outside will need to be replaced." "Huh, thats why our channels never came in clear," I said. "Definately. That's why you need that cable amplifier there. I'll tell the company the line needs to be replaced and I'll come back the day after they replace it." "Rock on!" I said.

Flash forward two weeks until yesterday. Cable company was supposed to come and replace the cable line. "The channels don't look any better," my dad said. "I agree, I bet they didn't come. I guess we'll find out tomorrow when the cable lady comes to install the modem."

Flash forward to today. Cable guy comes out. "Huh, there doesn't seem to be a strong enough signal," he says. "Oh boy . . . " "Let me call and see what they did yesterday . . . uh huh . . . uh huh . . . oh. So Mr. Barley it turns out they only replaced the ends of your cable yesterday. You'll have to make an appointment for them to come out and replace the whole line." This is the part where I drift off and imagine myself strangling the dickens out of this guy!

So tomorrow it looks like I'll be doing the usual circle with the cable company. Stupid company. Too bad they're getting bought up soon. Maybe some day I'll have high speed internet, until then I'm stuck with the limits of the dialing phone.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Oh the joys of cement. Today's advice: When you're 90 feet in the air on top of a cement bin with your head and arm reaching down inside to grasp a spinning wire that idicates the level of the cement, you better have a glass of water ready to drink when you get down because your throat will be drier than the Gobe Desert! You'll also be making dust trails behind you for the rest of the day. And honestly, do you really need a stupid meter to indicate the air pressure level of the plant? All you need to know is if there's enough pressure to run the plant. You're told when you don't have enough. Boy I'll tell ya, people get picky when you let them give you input.

Tonight's TV Schedual? Ed! I've been waiting months for this. It better be good. Skank Hoe Carol Vessey better not mess the show up. And I better see Warren Cheswick. Did anyone see him in that new Pepsi Vanilla commercial? His two second appearnance may just make that commercial one of the funniest of all time.

Finally, since he mentions me; Andy Vogel's very funny blog can be found here.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Why do people get so upset when you park close you their car? I don't it. I mean sometimes its difficult to park more than a foot away from another car. Ever try to park a giant 20 ft van in a parking space at Sheetz? I know that guy who said "A little close aren't you?!" never has. My response? Look him straight in the eye, give a little exhale laugh and say, "Yeah!" A foot is plenty of room I think.

Days come and go it seems. Today the phrase "Having a bad day fishing is better than having a good day at work" made its deput in my life. Appearently that fisherman never had my job. He also probably never tried to fish at Kiawah Island, SC at 6am in Canvasback Pond with its bazillion invisable flesh eating gnats. Still no fish. Anywho, a day spent on the road is appeartly is worth three, as I'll be going back to Somerset yet again tomorrow. This stupid plant better be working. I'm fed up with troubleshooting clumps of cement and admix pulse counters. At least I have my 2 hours of Paradise Hotel tonight! Ahhhhhh . . . a nice hard lemonade makes that show twice as good.
Another day another dollar. At least that's what my mom always said when she got home from work. I think my job is more, "Another day, something new!" I never knew concrete and blacktop plants were so complicated. So today's big lesson . . . If someone is standing under or near the discharger DO NOT discharge the admix! Even if its only 10 oz or so. So tomorrow its more looking at code and troubleshooting . . . maybe . . .

And hey! Whats the deal with no Paradise Hotel tonight? I know i get 2 hours worth tomorrow, but come on, its monday. Were's my visual crack? I can thank my sister for introducing me to that show. Who would have guessed?

Monday, September 22, 2003

So, after learning that the entire WORLD is doing blogs now (including businesses inplace of e-mail), I decided I should hop on the band wagon here. Plus, I figure that some people may actually want to hear about my life. Okay, maybe its more like a few. Whatever, its time i start telling you about me. At the time of this post I am 22 years old and I just graduated college back in May. I about 2 weeks ago I started my first real job at The Workplace*. I graduated with a degree in computer engineering. So its not surprising that I'm currently an Assistant Automation Programmer. Anyway, my goal is to update this baby everyday, so keep checking back for more Jimmy insights!

* Due do people at The Workplace complaining about comments I've made about inconspicuous people there, all references to my actual location of work have been discarded.