Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Since I'm on the topic of TV shows, what the flip happened to quality cartoons? Huh? Shoot I remember growing up spending I don't know how many hours watching cartoon greats like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ducktales (awoo ooh), Thundercats (ho!), The Smurfs, and heck there might have even been the occasional My Little Pony or Care Bears in there as well. Once I got a little older I graduated to the original Nicktoons with classics like Doug, Rugrats, Rocko's Modern Life and sadly even the disgusting Ren and Stimpy. I mean honestly can Bugs Bunny and friends even be found on any TV station at any time of the day? Nowadays we have junk (oh yes I said junk) like SpongeBob SquarePants, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Yu-Gi-Oh, and whatever the heck the name of the cartoon is that put Boston in a giant state of Level Orange bomb threat.

I remember my Saturday mornings as a young buck started off with Loony Tunes, then Muppet Babies followed immediately by the non-cartoon-but-funny-as-all-get-out PeeWee's Playhouse. Once TMNT hit the airwaves I was hooked. All thru the three different versions. The first was nice and cute, the second had a little more violence in it and the third had super-mutants ninja turtles and down right scary villains in it. That was it then for me. Coming home from school usually consisted of watching Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Darkwing Duck, and/or Count Duckula. Evenings were made up of Doug, Rugrats and maybe a rerun of Inspector Gadget or Heathcliff. Or perhaps that was before school too. Eh I don't really remember when I watched them, just that I did. Want the full rundown of every cartoon series I can ever remember watching? Read on my Memory Lane travelers (preferably to the tune of We Didn't Start the Fire).

Alvin and the Chipmunks, Thundercats, The Smurfs, The Snorks, Loony Tunes, Inspector Gadget, Silverhawk, My Little Pony, Care Bears, Heathcliff, Muppet Babies, Transformers, Doug, Rugrats, The Ren and Stimpy Show, Rocko's Modern Life, Aaahh!! Real Monsters, Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Ducktales, Darkwing Duck, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, Talespin, The World of David the Gnome, The Flinstones, The Jetsons, The Super Mario Bros Super Show, Super Mario World, Sonic the Hedgehog, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Voltron, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra: Princess of Power, Ghostbusters, Dennis the Menace, Gummi Bears, Jem and the Holograms, Tom and Jerry, The Simpsons, Scooby Doo, Rocky and Bullwinkle, The Wuzzles, Woody Woodpecker, and Yogi Bear.

If I missed any, please let me know (of course you wouldn't actually know what I watched when I was younger so how about just letting me know of the cartoons you watched as a kid [unless of course you are a kid now then I don't want to hear them because like I said, cartoon these days stink {except maybe The Simpsons but even that show isn't what it used to be}!]).

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Have you seen the new Fox TV show On The Lot? Of course you haven't. Because it stinks. Shoot I haven't even watched more than 5 minutes of it and I know it stinks. So what do you do when you create a reality TV show that has, what, like 20 players, er I'm sorry, "directors" and doesn't have a single viewer? Do you finish out the season and go down with the ship? Or do you pull the plug and hope nobody even knew the show existed at all except for the few like Justin King who would then complain to me all camp long about how that was the best show ever and Fox should have never canceled it mid-season. Even the fact that Carrie Fisher is a judge doesn't even score points with me. Wow, how old is she now? 100? 150? No, she only looks that old.

This reality TV craze is just ridiculous. Sure we thought it was out of control a couple years ago, but now reality TV is literally (and I'm using that word properly here) all that is new for the local TV lineup right now. Everything from dancing to modeling, to making movies, to being 30 and dating a 20 year old versus a 40 year old. Yeah that's a tough choice. Of course there is cooking, and more dating and even band playing. I can't take it anymore and neither can the rest of this country. Reality is no more. The country has spoken, and they want more of The Office and Jenna Fischer. Ooh did you see Halpert's going to be in a new movie coming up (not playing Jim of course)? So is Michael Scott but that's a given funny.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

It's no secret, I'm a Google fanatic! I love Google, not only because it is the second largest number named by man (ten to the hundredth power, trumped only by the mind-numbing, ultra perplexing, google-plex, or 10 to the googleth power [that's a 10 with a google zeros by the way]), but because the company makes fantastic web applications. Google has quite the monopoly right now on the Internet. Snatching up other sites such as YouTube for nothing less than 2 billion dollars. All this from a website that started as a simple search engine only to explode into the mammoth Internet hierarchy it is today thanks to a few patented search algorithms that not only returned what you were looking for, but advertisements as well. Google is now capable of doing just about all your normal computer needs. Anything from from writing text documents to, email, the handling your photo album. All with the mighty backbone of the Google Search Engine that seems to only get better. Anywho , I'm rambling on here, but the purpose of this entry is to fill you in on some of my favorite Google applications. So without further adieu, here's:

Captain Jimmy's Top Five Flippin' Favorite Google Web Apps!

5. Gmail - If you've been living anywhere near the planet Earth and the Internet the past few years you should have heard of Google's wonderful email application. I jumped on this bandwagon way back when, in its first year of beta testing, (allowing me to get one kick-a** email address). The major bummer here is that it is still in beta testing and you need a referral to sign up (call me, I'll let you in). What I really like about the thing is how it keeps all your email conversations as one email. No longer will you see countless emails with the same subject to the same person over and over. It all automatically is kept organized as one expandable email. How brilliant of an idea was that?! More brilliant that my readers' that's for sure (unless of course they work for Google and created that concept but I doubt they would be reading this blog).

4. Blogger - Duh. You're looking at the thing right now. Allowing you to edit any part of the HTML template (which I love to do because I'm a giant nerd), Blogger takes the cake in my book when it comes to blogs (or web logs for you Internet lingo impaired). The site autosaves your entries when you're writing them and even lets you add labels. Xanga seems like it's specialized for friends to chat and give props (an incredibly stupid and thick concept if you ask me) and any other site just isn't that well known. The name is easy to remember: Blogger. Rhymes with Frogger, which ironically might just be one of the most inspirational video games ever. Coincidence? I think NOT!

3. Docs & Spreadsheets - Mwaa haa haa! Death to Microsoft is what this app says. Throw your crappy Word and Excel packages out the Window (pun intended [idiot Microsoft makes the Windows operating system!]). Sure Docs & Spreadsheets may not be as powerful, or able to read your previous Word and Excel docs, but what this app lacks in features (that the common user never uses anyway) it makes up for in usability. You save to the web so no matter where you go, there's your stuff. No CD, thumb drive, or any other storage device necessary to carry around. Autosaves every 30 seconds or so and lets you share with friends. Is your mouth watering too? I only wish it would let Firefox override its own spell checker.

2. Google Calendar - You can flush Outlook down the pooper! Especially since you trashed its email functionality when you signed up for Gmail. Google Calendars not only makes it easy to have countless calendars at your fingertips, but also lets you so very easily share your calendars with others, something quite foreign to Outlook users (the easy part is what's foreign). A nice little bonus is the automatic text message reminder that it can send to your mobile before your event. And the best part is you can search and display calendars for anything! Mine shows me my personal schedule, birthdays, phases of the moon, national holidays, the AVP Tour schedule and even times and descriptions of new episodes of The Office. If this mother trucker doesn't make you wet your pants, then perhaps you should have a few beers!

1. Picasa - Forget Flickr, Yahoo Photos, Facebook, and the beta Riya that should have taken off, but became stupid Like.com instead. Picasa is, in The Captain's genius opinion, the best photo management site out there. There's a nice little desktop app that makes managing and uploading photos a snap. They may only give you 1 GB (and counting!) of photo space, but they let you reduce your photos resolution to fit more photos on your site. You can pay if you'd like more space, but if you're like me and like free and to keep those hi-res photos all to your greedy little self then 1 GB will do you for a very long time. Tag photos, write witty captions, heck you can even create Flash-like slideshows to stick on your MySpace page. Share, organize photos anyway you want, even order prints. My favorite part: you can post your camera's video clips as well. Stick that up Flickr's pipe and smoke it!

Of course Google has a crap load more that The Captain's top 5. Stuff as great as Google Earth, YouTube, iGoogle, Google Notepad, the list goes on. Check out Google Labs to see and test what's in the works. The best part is if you sign up for one service, you've signed up for all of them. It's like the universal user ID that you've always wanted but never made love to. I'm telling you now, the day Google makes GoogleOS is the day that Microsoft will lose its nasty little grip on the PC realm. If you want the mecca Internet experience then Google is the way to go. There may not be any greater Internet experience. Except maybe for my online banking. Did you know I can see a picture of any check I write?! Any check at all!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

With the spring television season quickly coming to an end right now, I figured I'd let you all in on the TV shows that I currently watch so you can all be prepared to chat with me about them come the Fall. So in case you haven't gotten enough yet, here comes another:

Captain Jimmy's All Star TV Lineup.

How I Met Your Mother - An amazingly hilarious sitcom that contains one key character, Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser. That's right my friends, that lovable little teenage M.D. is back again, only this time he "suited up" to be one bad a**, hellava wingman guy named Barney (yes like the purple dinosaur). Barney has the world at his finger tips and isn't afraid to do anything. Whether it's Foxy Boxing or a Cigar at the lounge, he'll be there for his friends. Of course Ted, Robin, Marshal and Lily also provide some pretty random comedy as well. Whether the entire cast will be back for next season could still be up for debate.

American Idol - I know, it's no secret I watch this pop series (I know what you're thinking, The Captain is NOT a loser!). But what can I say? When you have finalists like Blake, Jordan, and Melinda, there really is no excuse to miss the final few remaining episodes. Besides, Simon throws enough insults to fill a freight train in each episode!

House - Immediately following American Idol you'll find House M.D. House has it all! You want drama, you've got it. You want disgusting medical stuff, you've got it. You want a doctor souped up on Vicodin that doesn't give a rat's behind about the patient but only the puzzle of curing his or her disease and takes tremendous pride in putting down the entire staff that works for him (and he works for) all the while trying to hit on every chick in site, well guess what, you've got it. Just like any other Medical Center in the US! If you don't like British actors who play cocky Americans with a limp and flaming walking canes, then this is not the show for you. I also watch because Cameron in flippin' hot! The question of the season: will Foreman actually resign? My money is on, HELL NO!

The Office - Wow, if the fact that I own both seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and my iPod is no clue as to how much I'm in love with this show, then perhaps you have a concussion or you're an idiot. I think what makes this show extra funny is the fact that I work in an office environment with cubicles all over and "interesting" co-workers. If there was ever a co-worker like Dwight Shrute at The Workplace, I would never leave. Some favorite moments of this season were Michael outing Oscar, Andy going to anger management, "Big Tuna," a fax from the future from Future Dwight, Jim impersonating Dwight ("False! Black Bear!"), and a beach trip to the 8th largest lake, Lake Scranton. As long as Pam and Jim never get together, the show should last for seasons to come (I know you're rooting against me on this statement but let's look at all the great shows that declined shortly after the main character hookup: Lois and Clark, Ed, Friends, heck even the X-Files for it lost Mulder after he finally got it on with Scully).

Scrubs - I hate to see this series come to end, but when you have a prime time show that never makes it to HD, you know it isn't going to last much longer. I must admit, the humor is quite bizarre, but frankly, that's what's so funny about the show. From bizarre sexual day dreams, to a whacked out janitor, to insane speeches that ramble on meaninglessly for minutes on end, to some bizarre man-love relationship between JD and Turk, this show only provides me with a half hour of pure funny. JD right now is in quite the predicament, but frankly what else would you expect from a guy that passes out when he poos naked in his neighbor's house?

Reruns - Of course I'm not just a new show kinda guy. Throughout each day I typically watch The X-Files, Stargate SG-1 and two episodes of Seinfeld. While Spooky Fox Mulder and Major Samantha Carter give me my science fiction fix for the day, I'm sure to always get a laugh with Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine. It should be noted that the Stargate SG-1 series finale is this spring, however since new episodes air Friday evenings, I haven't (legally) seen a new episode in over a year. The show sort of went a little down hill once MacGyver left. I mean seriously, he's MacGyver!

Monday, May 14, 2007

I typically don't write about specific other people (in general) however I'm willing to make an exception in this case. I'll change the names here to protect the innocent though (although if you'd consider any of the people mentioned in this post innocent you must be on drugs or something). So this past weekend there was the annual First Rites beach volleyball tournament in Rehoboth Beach, DE. I came out with a nice 3rd place victory on Saturday and a 1st place win on Sunday. But I'm not really here to talk about that. If you aren't familiar with Rehoboth Beach, well then either you haven't been reading this blog for more than a couple months, or you're not up on your current Delaware beach geography. It's funny. I'll tell someone that I'm going to Rehoboth Beach for the weekend and they usually respond with, "Oh the gay beach?" "Yup that's the one."

Rehoboth Beach is known mostly for its, well its homosexual atmosphere. If you're not into playing for my team, and you're looking for a good time at the beach, Rehoboth is the place to be. Just to make myself clear, I'm not homophobic, nor do I hate these individuals. Frankly they're welcome to do whatever (or whomever) they want. Just because I don't share their same viewpoint on members of the same sex doesn't mean I don't like them or am afraid of them. So now that we have that cleared, let's move onto my story shall we.

Some friends and I were groovin' at the Frog Pond Saturday night. Now in case you haven't read my post on bars that are named after animals and colors, dated 05.20.2006, then you should check that out first before reading on. We go to the Frog Pond because there is a great band that plays there and the music is pretty much the best around. The fact that chicks are making out with each other all over the place really doesn't inspire me to be there (mostly because they aren't as hot as they should be). So like I was saying, some friends and I were out getting down with our bad selves on the dance floor when suddenly a stranger named Kathy approached my friend Darla. Kathy reached a hand out as if to introduce herself to Darla. For the first couple moments I thought perhaps that these two dancing machines knew one another. Approximately 3.14 seconds after that thought, I realized what was actually going on there.

Now picture 5 friends dancing in a small circle having a good ol' time: loud music, drinks in hand, smiles all around, wild crowd surrounding them. Now picture only those 5 people stop dancing in an instant with super large eyes and mouths wide open while the rest of the club continues to jam. It was a scene right out of some horrible porno made in my buddy Tim's basement.

Finally Darla extended her hand which allowed Kathy to shake Darla's hand for what seemed like minutes on end. Kathy's mouth was going none stop while Darla just held her gaze with eyes the size of golf balls and a jaw dropped half way to the floor. Finally after what seemed like ten minutes (probably only really being less than one Earth minute, unfortunately the mind seemed to wonder while all this was going on mostly to the thought of, "Why is Darla not talking??") Kathy left. There Darla stood, unmoving, like a deer caught in the headlights of an encroaching sports car. Now I don't remember if it was one person or all of us at the same time but I know at least one person said, "Who the heck was that?!!" According to Darla, who may or may not have been actually experiencing some form of disrupted reality at that point in time, the conversation when like this:

Kathy: Hi, my name is Kathy.
Darla: (head slightly nodding) Uh huh . . .
Kathy: I was sitting over there at the bar and thought you looked pretty awesome and hot.
Darla: (head slightly nodding) Uh huh . . .
Kathy: So I just moved here not to long ago from [enter city of choice here] and just got out of a three year, long term relationship. My dad died not to long ago and since then I have been blah blah blah blah blah.
Darla: (head slightly nodding) Uh huh . . .

At that point Kathy finally walked away. Note how there was no introduction from Darla, nor was there an exchange of greetings or farewells. All Darla could muster up was the phrase "Uh huh." I mean seriously here. How much nerve does it take to walk up to some stranger in a club, obviously dancing with a small group of friends, and tell them you think they're hot (and gay for that matter)? A heck of a lot more than I'll ever have. What makes this story even better is the person Darla was dancing next to during all this was her boyfriend. Who, by the way, was just as speechless as the rest of us and said absolutely nothing during the above conversation. Now Darla claims to have been giving him the I-need-help-now-idiot eyes, but I can assure you that wasn't the case. And frankly when you're witnessing a train wreck, there really isn't anything to say to anyone at that time.

But I think the best part of the night, may have been the car ride back to the house. During the walk to the car all we did was recap and laugh at the incident. Then, after about 2.72 minutes in the car Erin buzzingly blurted out, "I'm sort of jealous! Honestly why didn't some chick hit on me? What do I need to be wearing some kind of color or something?"

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Unless you're living in 1987, which I know approximate 32% of The Cove is, you've probably seen the commercials that pit Mac (i.e., Warren P. Cheswick from Ed) up against PC (i.e., some stocky quirky fellow). I, being a computer engineer and all, find these commercials to be highly amusing. In case you didn't know, I'm a PC junkie. I don't care much for Macs. I'm not saying Macs aren't good, I personally would just never buy one. I find the commercials amusing because usually the concepts Mac likes to brag about aren't entirely true. Take for instance the commercial I just saw tonight. PC is spinning a big wheel with the six different versions of the new Microsoft Windows Vista OS to determine which OS he should acquire. Mac implies that his OS already has everything one needs so there is no reason to have to choose, nor is there an option to choose. While, yes, Vista comes in many flavors depending on what you do with your PC, I can guarantee Mac OS is not going to have everything you need (unless of course you want exactly what they have which could still be the case with your selected version of Vista). The second commercial I enjoy is an older one. It's the one where Mac and PC are talking about the latest digital cameras. Mac states that all one has to do is plug it in, and boom it works. PC says that might not be the case with him. The facts here are as follows: 1) Pretty much all digital cameras you can plug into a computer are USB and simply appear as a new hard drive. No software needed unless you're using a Windows OS from the 90's (or the dreaded ME in which case, if you are still using, you should be shot). 2) If the camera uses some kind of brand new technology, newer than the OS, you're going to have to install new drivers whether your computer is a fruit or not. 3) If you dropped a lot of cash on your camera it probably uses Firewire instead of USB which is normally not standard on a PC (which is probably what Mac is exactly referring to hear), however this concept falls thru the floor if #2 is true.

My other favorite is when Mac wants to show PC his latest art project and all PC wants to do is calculate how much time they just wasted. I have no argument for it, I just find it entirely humorous! My main point throughout this entire post though is this. Who exactly is Apple marketing to here? Not my dad. He doesn't understand any of the Get A Mac commercials. And when I start to explain them to him he tunes (pun intended [iTunes you idiot, it's made by Apple]) me out. Those are the kind of people that Mac should be targeting. People that what something simple and straightforward. People that aren't interested in upgrading hard drives and processors and video cards. People that don't want to play kick a** games or download music illegally. Macs are for people that want to easily edit their home movies or pictures, easily listen to and download/edit music, or surf the net in a very simple, one button mouse fashion. My guess is only 25% of people understand the Get A Mac commercials and 90% of those people are actually PC junkies like me.

The world doesn't understand computers my friend. The world doesn't seem to want to understand computers. People just want them to do what they want them to do. The question you just need to ask yourself is what is it you actually want it to do? I want mine to lecture me on flower pedals and the 1950 Jaguar Roadster. I would also like it to give me a neck massage from time to time, but sometimes that's asking just a little too much apparently.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Let's be honest here. Those 272 friends you have there on your MySpace; how many of those people would you really consider to be "friends?" Not to insult those people on my MySpace friends list, but frankly not all of them I would consider true "friends." Some of them I've never even met before except online thru MySpace. Others I went to high school or college with and haven't seen since while others I met once at a wedding, or a group gathering, or may even be the friend or spouse of a friend. Now at the time of this post I have a mere 67 friends on my Myspace. I have even less on Facebook with a staggering 38 of which only one have I never met before (so consider yourself a decent, person-worthy-of-knowing if you can be found on either site).

So who are these people you're making friends with when that number is over 100, or 500 for that matter!? I don't even think I could name 500 people that I know! And the 50% of people that I do know probably don't even know how to find MySpace.com on the internet (sad I know) let alone spell it. So what are you really gaining by having 314 friends? Are your Friday nights better now that you "know" more people? Probably not because you're spending it and the rest of the weekend leaving comments and messages for all the people you've never even met! Why? Why would you ever do that? Is it in the hope that one day you will meet these people (half of which probably aren't even using their own picture [oh yeah, how can you miss those perky little breasts the girls like to flaunt])? You Facebookers go crazy over befriending every single person that went to your school! You don't even know most of them! Why?! Why are 12 year-olds wanting to create MySpace accounts? Call your friends on the phone, go play outside, do something other than stalk your other friends!! You're not old enough yet to not like people to the point of obsessive hate-stalking (usually that doesn't start until after college).

So the next time random Jane Doe friends (I can't believe that's used as a verb now [sort of like Google, but I refuse to use that as a verb, I still "search"]) you, think twice before accepting. I mean if you're truly interested in this person, by all means, use the internet's potential to the fullest, but if it's just so you can brag to your friends (real or virtual) about your new record high 997 friends, then honestly I think you may need to find something more constructive to do with your time. How about spelunking?