' I've decided that my typical work day could 
be devised into a single computer application that 
would be able to mimic me being at work. For those 
of you that can read Visual Basic code, here is the 
program for my new android, Jimmy Workday (greatly 
simplified of course).

Public Class JimmyWorkday

 Private codeLikeAMoFo As New Threading.Thread

 Private Sub Work()

  ' sleep until the alarm goes off
  While Not alarmActive
   Threading.Thread.Sleep(1000)
  End While

  ' get a** to work
  MorningRoutine.Shower()
  MorningRoutine.GetDressed()
  MorningRoutine.DriveToWork("Cavalier")

  ' do work
  alreadyEatenBreakfast = False
  alreadyEatenLunch = False
  While workToDo And DateTime.Now <= quittingTime

   ' check emails
   For Each email In Outlook.Inbox.Emails
    ReadEmail(email)
    If email.ConstitutesResponse Then
     Outlook.ReplyAll()
     WriteSemiCoherentResponse()
     Outlook.Send()
    End If
   Next email

   ' answer phone (if necessary)
   If Phone.IsRinging Then
    For i As Int32 = 0 To knownPhoneNumbers.Count - 1
     If knownPhoneNumbers(i).Number = Phone.Number Then
      If knownPhoneNumbers(i).ShouldNotIgnor Then
       Phone.Answer()
      End If
     End If
    Next i
   End If

   ' get bowl of cereal for breakfast
   If DateTime.Now.Equals(breakfastTime) And Not alreadyEatenBreakfast Then
    FrostedMiniWheats.PourIntoBowl()
    EatBreakfast(FrostedMiniWheats)
    alreadyEatenBreakfast = True
   End If

   ' use the bathroom if gotta go
   If natureIsCalling Then
    GetToBathroom()
    sitAndWaitTimer = 0
    While noReleif Or sitAndWaitTimer < TimeSpan.FromMinutes(15)
     TryForReleif()
     Threading.Thread.Sleep(TimeSpan.FromMinutes(1))
     sitAndWaitTimer += 1
    End While
    ReturnToDesk()
   End If

   ' eat lunch
   If DateTime.Now >= lunchTime And Not alreadyEatenLunch Then
    Lunch.Devour()
    alreadyEatenLunch = True
   End If

   ' code like a mo-fo in a mindless state while doing everything else
   If codeLikeAMoFo.ThreadState = Threading.ThreadState.Unstarted Then
    codeLikeAMoFo.Start()
   End If

   ' take a break every now and then to stay sane
   If gettingBored Then
    If Not tiredOfSurfingNet And feelingLuckyToNotGetNannied Then
     SurfTheNet()
    ElseIf Not tiredOfTalkingToPeople Then
     GoTalkToPeople()
    Else
     WasteTimeDoingStupidStuffLikeCodingMyDay()
    End If
   End If
  End While

  ' when home from work, exercise and eat
  EveningRoutine.DriveHome("Cavalier")
  EveningRoutine.Exercise()
  If GoogleCalendar.VolleyballEventExists Then
   GoPlayVolleyball()
  End If
  EveningRoutine.EatDinner()

  ' watch tv or whatever else
  Select Case DateTime.Now.DayOfWeek
   Case DayOfWeek.Monday
    TV.Watch("HowIMetYourMother")
   Case DayOfWeek.Tuesday
    Movie.Watch(netflixMovie, neighbor)
   Case DayOfWeek.Thursday
    TV.Watch("TheOffice")
   Case Else
    DoStuff()
  End Select

  ' get ready to do it all over again
  EveningRoutine.Read()
  EveningRoutine.GoToBed()
 End Sub

End Class