What are my thoughts on this winter? Quite frankly I’d rather crap out 10 dollars in quarters than experience the likes of this winter. The main reason is because I can measure the amount of snow we’ve gotten so far this year with a soup can. Of course the other reason being I’d have an extra (although quite filthy) 10 dollars in my hand, which I could use to save up for another useless season ski-pass for next winter.

So far this winter we have gotten 3 major ice storms, multiple false alarm forecasts for heavy snow, inches of rain and precisely 2 point [insert profanity of choice here] inches of snow. That creates ski conditions at The Knob (my local ski resort) that attract only the likes of those who enjoy bruises, wipeouts, getting wet, throwing money away, and oh yeah, a really really crappy day of skiing. Of course, I have yet to venture there this season. My season pass which was purchased at the end of last season still awaits my pickup at the winterless wonderland. And quite frankly I do NOT enjoy throwing money away like that when quite frankly for half the price of a season pass I can buy a Wii Fit along with a copy of Shaun White Snowboarding and get my boarding kicks for the rest of my life (On a side note, that game really is quite awesome. If you are as put out with this winter as I am, I encourage your snow-excitement-lacking little self to head on over to your local or online tech company of choice and pick yourself up a copy. You WON’T be disappointed)!

So here’s the deal Weather. Either you bring some real snow my way by the end of the month or so help me I will personally make sure my pet spider monkey leaves you a little surprise on your front door everyday of the year (after all, that is less for me to clean up). So you think about that before leaving winter snow behind in PA altogether.