Only two more days of this pre-election advertising left. In light of this news I decided that I myself would run for a local office. I’ve been working on my TV spot and came up with the following script.

(As read by James Earl Jones of course)
Do you know where your son or daughter is right now? [Other Candidate] doesn’t. He’s too concerned with raising gas prices and fighting the people fighting the war in Iraq. He doesn’t give a flying [BEEP] about your kids. James Barley does. [Other Candidate] also doesn’t give a rat’s [BEEP] about your television, or car, or house. He would rather be giving himself a pay raise so he could buy more televisions, and cars and houses. James Barley cares about that sort of crap. And when [Other Candidate] just stood by and watched as the world came to an end, James didn’t. He wasn’t standing at all. That’s an event that you need to sit down for. So why elect [Other Candidate]? He’s a Mother [BEEP], Son of a [BEEP], [BEEP] [BEEP], [BEEP] Head. And that’s just uncalled for. James is none of that, and he cares about you as is clearly evident by this commercial. So don’t you be a [BEEP] Head too. Vote for James Barley, biatch.

Paid for by people who don’t even know they are giving money for this commercial.

Of course there would be real pictures of me holding babies and forged pictures of Other Candidate smoking cigars, burning flags and kissing "Women of the Street" slowly progressing thru the background. Should blend right in with the rest of the ads out there and is just as informative. I think anyway.