The past few weeks I've had some time to hang out with friends, coach volleyball, and as if you couldn't believe it, play video games. With this year's 2 weeks of camp now over, I figured I'd give my readers what they want since I haven't posted in a while. So I shall stall no longer. Here it comes, Captain Jimmy's Top Lessons Learned Being At Camp This Year:

10. In order to master Guitar Hero on the hard level one must rest his hand so that his pinkie finger is on the orange fret key and then use the index finger to get both the green and the red frets. Of course one must also master that art of sliding the index finger across all the fret keys and be able to quickly improvise when note combinations come quickly that are completely unnatural for the hand to be it. Also it would be a lot easier too if one's hand did not cramp up while playing and sitting down.

9. When playing Marvel's Ultimate Alliance for the Wii tap A quickly most of the time and make sure you throw in a few B + A attacks and Hold A attacks as well. Also make sure your character is NOT punching the air with no enemies around at the bottom right hand corner of the screen.

8. Mama's Kitchen for the Wii absolutely Sucks and, oh yes, that is with a capitol S.

7. Applebees has 2-Fer Weeknights after 10PM where you can get appetizers for half price and 2 beers for the price of one. Unless of course your beer of choice is Fosters which is on the 2-Fer menu, but not carried at any Applebees location. Also for some reason if you order wings, Applebees puts the celery and carrots underneath all the wings and hot sauce. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?

6. New York City is not as exciting when you have to speed walk 15 blocks at 1115PM in order to catch your train by 1140PM so you aren't stuck in Penn Station until 140AM when the next train comes.

5. British name takers at IHOP seem to remember the last name Barley quite easily for some reason. Although that may have something to do with going there five times within two weeks.

4. Fourteen year old girls don't sing, they scream at the top of their lungs in an ear piecing shriek that could only be appreciated by the deaf and other fourteen year old girls.

3. Having giant 20 person sword fights at night in the dark, with PVC pipes in the shape of swords can only lead to one thing: a left eye nearly being gouged out and eight stitches. Huh, I didn't see that coming at all!

2. Season 3 of The Office is just as funny the second, third and fourth times around. Fact. Bears eat beats! Bears, beats, Battlestar Galactica.

1. After watching Season 3 of The Office two, three or even four times, it becomes quite easy to quote the TV show in normal conversation without even knowing that you're doing it. It's just down right spectacular! That's what she said.

Have you seen the new Fox TV show On The Lot? Of course you haven't. Because it stinks. Shoot I haven't even watched more than 5 minutes of it and I know it stinks. So what do you do when you create a reality TV show that has, what, like 20 players, er I'm sorry, "directors" and doesn't have a single viewer? Do you finish out the season and go down with the ship? Or do you pull the plug and hope nobody even knew the show existed at all except for the few like Justin King who would then complain to me all camp long about how that was the best show ever and Fox should have never canceled it mid-season. Even the fact that Carrie Fisher is a judge doesn't even score points with me. Wow, how old is she now? 100? 150? No, she only looks that old.

This reality TV craze is just ridiculous. Sure we thought it was out of control a couple years ago, but now reality TV is literally (and I'm using that word properly here) all that is new for the local TV lineup right now. Everything from dancing to modeling, to making movies, to being 30 and dating a 20 year old versus a 40 year old. Yeah that's a tough choice. Of course there is cooking, and more dating and even band playing. I can't take it anymore and neither can the rest of this country. Reality is no more. The country has spoken, and they want more of The Office and Jenna Fischer. Ooh did you see Halpert's going to be in a new movie coming up (not playing Jim of course)? So is Michael Scott but that's a given funny.

With the spring television season quickly coming to an end right now, I figured I'd let you all in on the TV shows that I currently watch so you can all be prepared to chat with me about them come the Fall. So in case you haven't gotten enough yet, here comes another:

Captain Jimmy's All Star TV Lineup.

How I Met Your Mother - An amazingly hilarious sitcom that contains one key character, Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser. That's right my friends, that lovable little teenage M.D. is back again, only this time he "suited up" to be one bad a**, hellava wingman guy named Barney (yes like the purple dinosaur). Barney has the world at his finger tips and isn't afraid to do anything. Whether it's Foxy Boxing or a Cigar at the lounge, he'll be there for his friends. Of course Ted, Robin, Marshal and Lily also provide some pretty random comedy as well. Whether the entire cast will be back for next season could still be up for debate.

American Idol - I know, it's no secret I watch this pop series (I know what you're thinking, The Captain is NOT a loser!). But what can I say? When you have finalists like Blake, Jordan, and Melinda, there really is no excuse to miss the final few remaining episodes. Besides, Simon throws enough insults to fill a freight train in each episode!

House - Immediately following American Idol you'll find House M.D. House has it all! You want drama, you've got it. You want disgusting medical stuff, you've got it. You want a doctor souped up on Vicodin that doesn't give a rat's behind about the patient but only the puzzle of curing his or her disease and takes tremendous pride in putting down the entire staff that works for him (and he works for) all the while trying to hit on every chick in site, well guess what, you've got it. Just like any other Medical Center in the US! If you don't like British actors who play cocky Americans with a limp and flaming walking canes, then this is not the show for you. I also watch because Cameron in flippin' hot! The question of the season: will Foreman actually resign? My money is on, HELL NO!

The Office - Wow, if the fact that I own both seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and my iPod is no clue as to how much I'm in love with this show, then perhaps you have a concussion or you're an idiot. I think what makes this show extra funny is the fact that I work in an office environment with cubicles all over and "interesting" co-workers. If there was ever a co-worker like Dwight Shrute at The Workplace, I would never leave. Some favorite moments of this season were Michael outing Oscar, Andy going to anger management, "Big Tuna," a fax from the future from Future Dwight, Jim impersonating Dwight ("False! Black Bear!"), and a beach trip to the 8th largest lake, Lake Scranton. As long as Pam and Jim never get together, the show should last for seasons to come (I know you're rooting against me on this statement but let's look at all the great shows that declined shortly after the main character hookup: Lois and Clark, Ed, Friends, heck even the X-Files for it lost Mulder after he finally got it on with Scully).

Scrubs - I hate to see this series come to end, but when you have a prime time show that never makes it to HD, you know it isn't going to last much longer. I must admit, the humor is quite bizarre, but frankly, that's what's so funny about the show. From bizarre sexual day dreams, to a whacked out janitor, to insane speeches that ramble on meaninglessly for minutes on end, to some bizarre man-love relationship between JD and Turk, this show only provides me with a half hour of pure funny. JD right now is in quite the predicament, but frankly what else would you expect from a guy that passes out when he poos naked in his neighbor's house?

Reruns - Of course I'm not just a new show kinda guy. Throughout each day I typically watch The X-Files, Stargate SG-1 and two episodes of Seinfeld. While Spooky Fox Mulder and Major Samantha Carter give me my science fiction fix for the day, I'm sure to always get a laugh with Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine. It should be noted that the Stargate SG-1 series finale is this spring, however since new episodes air Friday evenings, I haven't (legally) seen a new episode in over a year. The show sort of went a little down hill once MacGyver left. I mean seriously, he's MacGyver!

I’m having some issues in life right now. If you care to hear what they are, continue reading.

• If it’s cold enough for the schools to close, then it should be cold enough for The Workplace to close, especially when the geothermal heating is not working.
• The Super Bowl in 56 inches of high def, absolutely amazing! A 3 second plus delay between audio and video, nothing short of bewilderment.
• Snow falling from the sky day after day after day could be the most wonderful thing that has happened this winter; however the fact that there is less snow on the ground in the evening than in the morning day after day after day just irritates the crap out of me!
• If Cingular used to be AT&T, and is now becoming the New AT&T what will it be in another 2 years? The New Cingular? What kind of sick f’in game is this? Its times like these I’m glad I’m a Verizon customer. At least the Death Star AT&T logo is back.
• “Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone.” So does my bed board when I walk into it!
• Why does there always have to be a reason for someone nearly passing out when giving blood? Why can’t you just accept the fact that sometimes I do it, sometimes I don’t? I don’t try to do it purposefully. Does it look like I’m having fun to you, sweating and turning white? I eat, I drink, I give; let’s just leave it at that and call it a day.
• Did I mention the wind chill is 30 below? Flip that’s cold!!
• Drinking 72 ounces of water and eating a doughnut or two in 1.5 hours can make you gain 6 pounds in, well, 1.5 hours. Drinking 72 ounces of water will also make you pee at least 5 times in the 1.5 hours that follows. This is not good when you’re half a building’s length from the bathroom. Your pants also get a little tighter after the 9 cups of water.
• If you had my Luck and all the Colts had to do was kick an obvious 30 yard field goal on fourth down with a few minutes left in the game to absolutely seal a Super Bowl victory and win me $120, you wouldn’t have won $120 either. Why wouldn’t you kick the field goal?!!! WHY?!!!!!!!

Warning:
This week’s The Office spoiler. Don’t read this post until you’ve watched The Office this week!

I don’t know if I like the direction The Office is going. For the last two seasons the TV show has been about just that, the office, The Workplace. Of course there was a little side theme there with the tension between Jim and Pam, but that’s all it was, just a side theme. That was The Office I came to know and love. The Office I could relate to, The Office I had grown up with. But now, NBC has unleashed what I like to call The Relationship Monster. Starting next week, Jim will move back to Scranton and will bring along his new hottie, Karen. Now personally I like Karen, mainly because I refuse to jump on the Jim and Pam bandwagon. In my opinion Pam had her chance and she definitely blew it. Unfortunately life is not a fairy tale and we are forced to live with our mistakes. Just because she is ridiculously attractive doesn't mean she gets 50 chances at everything in life. Had she accepted Jim’s offer last season, I would have been more than happy (listen to me talk about these people like they’re actually real; I have got to get some kind of life eventually) for the two of them.

So now after me rambling on, NBC has apparently decided that they want to get the three of them involved in some kind of love triangle. This is no longer The Workplace. I can no longer relate. Why? Because the show isn’t about the office anymore; it’s about relationships. I don’t need yet another TV show about that. So here’s the deal. While I’m not going to stop watching, I am going to tell you what the show needs to be about again. It needs to be about people “working” in the office. And by “working” I know 90% of my readers know what I mean. Remember when they had The Office Olympics? Or how about the time Jim spent the whole day moving Dwight’s desk closer and closer to the restroom? Or even the time they had a basketball competition during the afternoon? This is what “going to work” is all about. This is what real people do at work my friends. This is what I want to watch on TV. I am not a girl, nor have I been craving more shows about relationship. Nah uh. Let’s get back to the basics!

I will say this; the fact that Jim occasionally sends Dwight faxes from Dwight’s future self may have been the absolute funniest past of tonight’s episode. [Sigh.] At least it still has some real parts about The Workplace. For now anyway. So while some people read my blog and try to live vicariously thru me (you know who you are out there), I try and watch TV and live vicariously thru it. See this whole world has a sort of balance to it after all.