You knew this had to be coming, so here it is in all its glory:

Captain Jimmy's Super Bowl XL Review

To put it bluntly, even as a hard core Stillers fan, I wasn't impressed last night. As Bob Dole would say, "You know it. I know it. And the American people know it." I would have much rather watched the Stillers-Colts game again in its entirety. Neither Pittsburgh, nor Seattle had anything worthy of a Super Bowl performance. Perhaps the biggest disappointment of the night was the absence of one Troy Polamalu. Sure you could see #43 out there running around but he wasn't involved in any kind of play! He had no rushes toward Hassleback, and I don't even think he had one tackle. Let's face it; he is the majority of that defense. Now I'm not saying he played awful, but you could tell the guy was hurt out there as he couldn't really seem to out run, out perform, or out maneuver anybody.

The Stillers rarely sent in the blitz and Big Ben played like he did last season. I can understand the man was nervous, you know second year quarterback in his first Super Bowl. That's no petty feat. But the last two games before The Bowl the Stillers played were off the hook! Ben's arm was firing! Bettis' bus was rolling, Foote's foot was stomping. This game was missing all of that.

The reason the Stillers win can be summed up in two plays: Parker's 75 yard run touchdown and of course the of the hook reverse to Randle El who then passed to Ward for a 43 yard completion pass for a touchdown. Of course Ben's touchdown helped some, but everyone made it out to be so controversial, I'll throw it out. Just for the record and with all Stillers' fan aside, the man scored a touchdown. John Madden is frickin' old and blind so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but come on Rest of the World! The ball passed the plane of the end zone. In football we call that a touchdown. Clearly the white lines on the ball were directly above the end zone white line meaning that the tip of the ball had to have passed the plane. Yes it then got knocked back, but it's too late by then. So Ben tried to be tricky and slide it across the goal line, but you show me one other football player who doesn't do the exact some thing on every single play!

Pittsburgh clearly won because of Seattle's lack of . . . well, they just blew it. Penalties were called when touchdowns should have been and just too many passes were dropped. Basically that's what it all came down to. They couldn't catch the ball when the play really mattered. Sure they were hot when it was a little 5 yarder, but eventually that just didn't cut it. And just to clarify again, you can’t push off another player to catch a ball, EVER and you can’t rap your arm around another player’s chest from the back and hold him from getting to the quarterback. Those are rules of football. So quit your wining about bad calls Seattle fans.

In the end it must have been really hard to pick an MVP for that game. But I'd say Ward was the guy it should've been. He had some key catches that made the game a winner for the Stillers. In conclusion, all was well with Jimmy and his Stillers. While it was no pretty victory, I'll take a homely win any day. The only thing, well okay, things I could have done without were the awful halftime and pre-game shows, and of course, the fact that Crap Face Tom Brady had to witness the coin toss in his butt ugly velvet sports coat. Like Madden said before the game. You show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. That may have been the best thing he has ever said.