This past weekend I was in Rehoboth Beach, DE for the MAV (Mid-Atlantic Volleyball) Last Rites Tournament. Usually when I go down to Rehoboth for volleyball tournaments I go down with a bunch of friends from the area for a long weekend. This means that on Friday and Saturday nights we all go out to a club and have a good time. Now if you know anything at all about Rehoboth Beach you would know that most people at that beach don’t “play for my team.” Tell anyone you are going to Rehoboth for the weekend and the response usually is, “Isn’t that the gay beach?” “Yes. Yes it is.” I tell them. While the fact that a lot of people there are homosexual doesn’t bother me, I do try to make sure I’m out with people who swing my way so that I don’t end up dancing with a man whose 6 inches taller than me, wearing high heels, a super mini skirt and a giant blond wig. This means that when in Rehoboth I need to avoid the gay bars. Easier said then done. Of course you can try to spot the upside-down rainbow triangles, but this seems to be going out of style these days. So real quick, these are my techniques on how to determine if a place in Rehoboth Beach, DE is a gay club.

1. There is an animal in the name (i.e. frog, parrot, etc.)
2. There is a feminine color in the name (i.e. purple, pink, etc.)
3. Couples of the same gender are walking in holding hands
4. The guys there are dressed just way too nice
5. Or dressed like NYC hookers
6. Most people are drinking fancy drinks instead of beer (mmmm, beer)
7. The name makes reference to water in some way (i.e. pond, ocean)

So depending on which team you play for use these techniques to find the place in Rehoboth fit for you. If you do happen to find yourself in a place not meant for you, just remember to keep your friends away from the girl that licking all the other girl’s legs.