Does anyone else actually care for those stupid little beads that come in most of the liquid soaps these days? I don’t get it. They annoy the heck out of me and I can hardly find a descent masculine scent without them. Frankly I don’t see what kind of purpose they serve, other than they make me rinse ten times longer to get the little buggers off my skin and out of my crevasses. There is no way those rocks are cleansing my skin any better than liquid soap without them would. It’s just an asinine selling ploy for stupid people who believe that Gillette’s Mach3 micro-vibrating razor will shave closer than their non-vibrating Mach3 razor. I should be in marketing if the best marketers can do is come up with dense ideas like that that ordinary folk will believe. Hey buy this new shampoo that has crumbled pits of paper in it that add fiber to your hair! Give me your money idiots of the world!

Now I know what you’re thinking. To avoid all of this I could just use bar soap, but to be honest I really hate washing myself with my own filth on a block of animal fat day in and day out.