Ahhh the season of Fall (or Autumn as people that like to use big words call it) is upon us. How can you tell? Of course there are the changing leaves, the cooler temperatures, and fading daylight, but there are many other things that point to the changing season as well.

1. Baseball season ever so slowly comes to end and the world unites to watch the Yankees lose another playoff series once again. Yeah, that never really gets old.
2. Football becomes the Sunday pastime as most people now worship to the likes of Pastor Terry Bradshaw, and Father Dan Marino. Of course in the background worship music is playing to the beat of “Listen to the Wife Yell at Things Not Getting Done Around the House.” That’s one of my favorite hymns by the way.
3. Those effin leaves get all over the effin place. Mostly in your car and down your socks. I don’t even know how the eff that is possible!
4. Suddenly it looks like everyone chews Dentyne Ice, even though some people’s breath still reek of wet diaper. What’s up with that?
5. You know those new obnoxious and stupid TV shows on the major networks? Ha, not for long.
6. Apple Pie. ‘Nough said.
7. Tidal waves of scary flicks hit the theaters and DVD, mostly stuff that nobody will ever plan on going to see unless they smoke crack while downing bottles of Pepto Bismol. In other words, you people are some weird biatches.
8. Homecomings all around! This is where you go back and pretend like you cared about high school and/or college and the people you went there with. Well, okay, just the sports. I hate soccer! You would give me kiss . . .
9. It’s cranky time at work! When was the last time you went to work and didn’t end up yelling at The Boss that he’s on crack and needs to suck it up and be a man or losing your cool and inadvertently advertising to The Workplace that you’ve had enough and decided that the circus was run better and offered better pay. Yeah that was The Summer you crazy mofo.
10. People seem to drive just a little bit slower! And darn it if I didn’t get behind that darn Camero AGAIN on my home from work. What the eff are these people looking at? Take a picture kiddies, and get yourself some leg muscles that can actually push down on the accelerator. Sweet sassy malaisey.

Enjoy the season you sexy trunk monkeys.