Friday, December 01, 2006

I’ll admit it. I have some mild forms of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). If you’re curious as to what they are, just keep reading.
  • The toothpaste tube absolutely MUST be squeezed from the bottom and the cap twisted off for use, not using the pop-top. Any alteration or defilement to the tube results in me reforming and/or cleaning the tube until it is rounded and clean.
  • Outlook Inbox MUST be located in the taskbar of my computer to the very far left. If any other applications are opened before that, I close them all and re-open Outlook.
  • Non-uniform textures drive me crazy! If something has a chip in it, or a rough spot, I cannot rest until it is uniform throughout. This is why I bite my nails.
  • A stack of stapled papers needs to be perfectly aligned with the staple precisely in the upper left hand corner making an isosceles triangle with the corner. If a single paper is not aligned, or the staple is not perfect, the pack gets re-aligned and re-stapled, over and over until I’m satisfied.
  • The money in my wallet must be sorted by value lowest to highest, front to back, all right side up with the face looking toward the front of the wallet.
  • My drinking glass has to be located near the upper left side of my plate. If it’s not, I feel lost. Sometimes I won’t even acknowledge it. Like in a restaurant when they give you a water glass and a drink glass, usually the water glass goes completely unnoticed.
I have some other issues that I classify as minor annoyances mainly because they are completely out of my control. These are as follows:
  • When you’re merging in the car, get up to speed before you actually merge onto the highway!
  • Please drive at a constant speed. Constantly speeding up and slowing down makes me think there’s a woman behind the wheel (forgive me if you are a women and a good driver for there are a few of you out there).
  • How about having a little courtesy and not have a half hour conversation on the phone when you’re with your friends. Surely you can call them back at some later point.
  • You need to hold the Redi-Whip completely orthogonal to the plane of the tabletop. I don’t know why but when people don’t do this, it drives me mad (this could fall under the above category as well I suppose).
  • Stop sneezing everyone! The sound is like nails on a blackboard.
This is why I’m the way I am. You don’t like it? Too bad.


DMM said...

And these are all the reasons we love you. You're lucky I don't work with you, I would mess things up in your little work world just to drive you insane.

Moose said...

Ha, I remember one time in programming class, I stapled a stack of papers, none of which was lined up with the others. If I recall correctly, DeRoos had written some comment about it when he returned the assignment to me.

Jimmy said...

I definitely remember that! How about the time we wrote movie quotes in our code comments? He was all confused. "Why is there no spoon?"

Andy said...

I think I will call you James Schrute from now on.