Thursday, January 04, 2007

Well, it’s 2007 and the excitement (or lack there of) of the holidays is finally over. Another year has come and gone and with that, unfortunately another birthday. This is where I express to my readers how depressed my birthday makes me. Of course just like last year the question of the day was, “If your this depressed at [insert age here], what will you be like at 50?” And once again, just like last year, I’d answer, “Be even more depressed.” I’m not sure I can out-do last year’s post with why one should be depressed, but make sure you haven’t missed it by reading it here. It really was a piece of work I am quite proud of. As for this year, I’m thinking I’ll just tell you how unbelievably lifeless my life is with:

Captain Jimmy’s Favorite Moments of 2006, Being 25

My quarter century year started off really well. I can’t tell you how excited I was to see all that snow! And I can’t tell you because it didn’t happen. And while I said I would never get another season pass to The Knob, guess what, I did. And guess what? IT STILL ISN’T SNOWING!

The Stillers pulled off one heck of a Super Bowl XL victory. It may have been the highlight of the year. Of course once all the excitement was over, well that was exactly it. The excitement was over.

There were those two beach volleyball tournaments I won in Rehoboth beach this summer. Those were nice. Of course there were countless, countless others that I lost in the playoffs, mostly in the semi-finals. And by countless I mean the number won’t all fit on my extremities.

Ah Easter with the family. Between that and trips to Buffalo, NY, I’m not really what sent my heart into cardiac arrest.

Another good friend from college got married. While I couldn’t be more than happy for them, weddings are nothing more than a slap in my face at yet another failure in my life. I like to call that The Inability to Attract the Like Age Opposite Sex. Nothing like keeping the record strong!

Let’s not forget those fabulous 2 weeks of camp where I coached a swarm of hormone raging teenage girls that wanted nothing more that to get my attention. I think I had some kind of Mutant Eye disease there this past year too. At least Kelly Clarkson made up for that.

Of course I can’t skip over the family vacation to Kiawah Island that I didn’t miss out on this year. I also didn’t miss out on the week’s worth of depression that came after I got home. Not depression because I had a crappy time, definitely not! Depression because, well I don’t know really. Sometimes Life just likes to show you what you don’t yet have, but really do because you’re there. Does that make sense?

Another friend moved away. Far away. I hardly speak to her anymore, but we still remain good friends. I hope she learns as much as she has taught me about Life!

Jamesapolooza was a gigantically awesome hit! Too bad for those of you that missed out. The guest list is getting pretty long but I can almost guarantee that Barley Fest ’07 will be even better. Although honestly what could get better than yards of beer and hot chicks making out in your bathroom??

Something not to overlook here is The Booze Bus. Probably the most wild extravaganza I’ll ever have on a Workplace trip but hey, everyone should really experience something like this. I can’t recall if it was the alcohol, or the sheer amounts of alcohol but I told our host to sign me the eff up for next year!

Penn State games, Stillers games, and Jars of Clay concerts. Oh my!

I think my favorite highlight of the year was the camp out for the Nintendo Wii. My family thought I was crazy, people at The Workplace called me “One of those people,” but it was a really interesting experience where I froze my keester off and paid $250 for a piece of hardware that people still cannot get a hold of and in the meantime I am having the time of my video game life getting Wii Arm every other day!

The final month of the year threw me a wonderful Christmas gift of Luck. However is was short-lived and soon replaced by my original lack there of as is evident with the rising temperatures and countless other unlucky events that have happened to me since The Workplace Christmas Party.

So that is it. That was my year of being a quarter century old. Just like in those previous years people have come and gone, lifestyles have changed, and Life in general has evolved. Now that I have it all typed out though, I guess my life really isn’t all that depressing. In fact it seems somewhat interesting and fascinating. That’s probably because I’m the one proofreading it right now and I like to do all the stuff that I wrote. Maybe the majority of you look at The Captain’s list and think, “Wow, what a dull, sad, unfortunate little life.” I don’t see that at all though. Sure my life is pretty darn insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe, but it is mine. And just the sheer fact that I can share all these experiences (or lack there of perhaps) with other people is really all that I am here for.

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