Tuesday, August 01, 2006

So I was at the beach today, chillin' like a villain in the warm South Carolina water jumping waves when two girls slowly made their way towards me on their boogie-boards. Now the funny thing about this was that the ocean current clearly should have been carry them the opposite direction, but that didn't really seem to faze them. Of course I noticed this rather early on and would have been even a little flattered had the two encroaching girls not been . . . well . . . girls. I estimate late high school; probably 11th or 12th grade. I would have given them the benefit of the doubt had they not been carrying on, loudly and stupidly like . . . well . . . two high school girls trying to get a fella’s attention. I was content just jumping my waves; believe me. So that's what I continued to do. Jump my waves like there wasn't a soul around me. Of course I listened into their conversation because by this point I could almost reach out and touch one of them. Suddenly I hear the one girl question the other about what ocean they were in. Now, okay, maybe if you were from India, or Russia, one might (I use that term incredibly loosely) not know what ocean they were in off the beach of SC. But clearly these two girls were from the good old US of A and just the mere thought of someone the age of 18 asking that question made me nearly achieve an aneurism.

So here is the conversation starter they use to try and reel me in. "Are you here by yourself?" Wow! A little forward wouldn't you think? Of course the next question out of their mouth was, "What ocean is this?" Now hold it right there! I have finally arrived at the reason for this entry. It's not to inform you about the Ohio high school chicks that were flirting with a 25 year old guy from The Cove, PA. Oh no! But it is to talk about the ways women feel they need to attract the opposite gender.

It would seem that women like to act dumb in order to pick up a man. Why this is, I have no idea. Is it because they want the man to feel in control? To feel powerful? Do they just want some dumb relationship so they can get into a bed? Who knows? I do know this though. The acting dumb bit is going to get you absolutely nowhere with me. I may be in the minority but I find intelligent women highly attractive. Why would I ever want to be involved in a conversation about what ocean is off the east coast with someone older than the age of nine? Frankly I don’t. And I can’t image that impresses a bunch of other dudes out there either. But hey, women, do what you want to do. If you want to act like a ditz who doesn’t know their hippocampus from their hippo-caboose, go right ahead. Believe me, you won’t find me with too much to say back at you.

And don’t worry. Nothing transpired between me and the high schoolers. I patiently waited them out as they idiotically tried to ride the waves back into shore with absolutely, yet purposefully, no luck at all. Once they had finally caught their waves in and waved, and voiced goodbye, I watched them leave the beach. This of course allowed me to safely walk back to my area of rest on the sand. Why can’t I attract girls in my age bracket that aren’t idiots and are attractive? I know they exist!

11 comments:

Michael said...

It's not an act. Girls really are dumb. Their brains are only half the size of a man's....it's science.

DMM said...

DO NOT put all girls in that dumb category!! I can name a few men/boys that are just as dumb!!

Turner said...

Excellent observation young sir...but...I could ask the same question (where are the intelligent men)! And thanks for not blaming their teachers at their OBVIOUS lack-of-intelligence.

Lindsay said...

Michael, I'm apalled that you would say such a thing! What a stereotypical "guy" thing to say. To answer your question seriously, Jimmy, girls, girls being the key word here act ditsy & stupid to get guy's attention & because they are nervous. And it obviously worked. They got your attention, enough that you blogged about them. Whether it be good attention or bad attention, girls like it when guys pay any kind of attention to them. There are intelligent, attractive woman out there, unfortunately for you most of us are married!!

Jimmy said...

No, I've witnessed plenty of women over the age of 19 acting stupid to pick up guys. Plus I hardly doubt the two girls were getting my attention so I'd blog about them. I have a really funny joke here about your attractiveness and intelligence but I wouldn't want you to continue to remind me of it at work. Plus this should get to you a little more wondering what in the world I was going to say.

Lindsay said...

Oh I think I know what you were going to say!! You called me ugly once, then ALMOST said it again. I think you've learned your lesson!! Think before you speak! I'm still waiting for your apology. You kind of took it back, but that's not the same as saying you're sorry. Until you say the word "sorry", I'll always hold it against you.

JLC said...

Haha, I found this entry and the whole exchange between people hilarious. In some ways, I totally agree with the fact that girls will go to utterly ridiculous lengths to get a guy's attention. A friend once did the whole cute hair-flip trying to get a guys attention, and totally whacked some stranger behind her with her mane of hair. (True story. I witnessed it.) But some guys do equally ridiculous things, like playing frisbee or football, and then TOTALLY eating it. Or, they resort ot tacky methods, which might be worse...? Haha, not sure.

Jimmy said...

I almost take offense to the Frisbee remark as I am (or once was) an avid Ultimate Frisbee player. And I never once did it to impress the ladies. In fact my girlfriend at that time hated the sport so I couldn't even show off for her. Although I am curious what these other "tacky methods" you're reffering to are.

JLC said...

Hah, just ask me what I mean by tacky methods, then. And I don't mean that people shouldn't play volleyball or frisbee or whatever, lol. Trust me, I love a good game of volleyball (even though I suck and I know it). I just think it's funny when guys get all into it, and they end up facedown in the sand.

Jimmy said...

Very well then. What do you mean by tacky methods? Also there was one time I ended up face down in the sand. Let me tell you, it did not taste very good. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get the point either. Double whammy!

JLC said...

HAH. No offense, but that truly is amusing. I'm sure I've landed not so gracefully more than a few times. In fact, while I was in Italy, I was playing beach volleyball with a bunch of people who didn't speak english, and I made a total fool of myself. It was horrible, lol. Uh, and those tacky methods are so... base, I'm not sure posting them is so tactful. (Wow, lots of tact going on in that sentence).