Obituary of the day: (This is straight out of the newspaper. It is for real!)

Louis Casimir, Jr.,Lewisburg
LEWISBURG -- Louis J. Casimir Jr., bought the farm Thursday, Feb, 2004, having lived more than twice as long as he had expected and probably three or four times as long as he deserved.
Although he was born into an impecunious family, in a backward and benighted part of the country at the beginning of the Great Depression, he never in his life suffered any real hardships.
Many of his childhood friends who weren't killed or maimed in various ways became petty criminals, prostitutes, and/or Republicans.
He survived three years overseas in an infantry regiment in excellent health, then university for four years on the GI bill, and never thereafter had to do an honest day's work.
He was loved by good women, had loyal friends, and all his children were healthy, handsome and bright.
For more than six decades, he smoked, drank and ate lots of animal fat, but never had a serious illness or injury.
His last wish was that everyone could be as lucky as he had been, even though his demise was probably iatrogenic.
He was preceded in death by his wife of 43 years, Judy.
He is survived by his brother Jack of Houston, Texas; and his children, Randall Kent of Brunswick, Ga., Louis John III (Trey) of Lewisburg, Thomas Bettis of Lewisburg and Edith Austin Wheat of Austin, Texas.
Lou was a daredevil; his last words were "Watch this!"
A memorial service and barbecue will be held on Labor Day at Lou's place.
Donations may be made in Lou's memory to the Union County Public Library, 205 Reitz Blvd., Lewisburg, PA 17837.
Funeral arrangements were by Shaw Funeral Home, Milton.