Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I've discovered there comes some point during the evening when I go from my thinking self, to my feeling self. You can probably tell by comparing the time of my posts with what the posts are about. I've known about this transition for quite some time but have sort of pretended that it isn't there. I've never really talked about it with anyone and I'm not really sure what causes it. Maybe it's the lack of sunlight, or the amount of time I am awake. Maybe it's a combination of the two with some hormones kicking off. Whatever the cause I'm not sure how much I like it. I'm sure my roommate of 3 years, Tim, had noticed it as we used to have countless conversations in bed late at night (chill out, we slept in bunked beds, though I was always on top...) years back. So does everyone have this? I've known for quite some time that I am not the normal human being. Mostly for reasons I don't mention here. But is this an abnormal thing? Can anyone relate out there? Is there anybody out there?

Have if you ever wondered if the world around you even exists at all? What if it's all made up and we are solely alone, constantly dreaming to only some day wake up and realize that there is truly nothing outside of our conscious mind. The only reality we would want to hold on to, is that that isn't real. What is there to live for if there aren't people to live for?

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