Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Here's a story I just feel the need to share with everyone! When you think nothing else could go wrong . .

Ashley has had a yellow jacket problem for a while now. He has noticed the yellow jackets flying into and out from his attic overhang for weeks now. So last week he told his wife to pick up some fumigation bombs so he could rid himself of them all. He scoped out the inside of the attack earlier and decided they were somehow getting into and under the insulation. When his wife returned from the store with a can of spray instead of fumigation bombs, Ashley wasn't too happy. His wife stated that she didn't want to fumes flowing into the house, so she got the spray instead. Ashley insisted that the fumes would spread throughout the house and that he would stung if he just went after the yellow jackets with some spray.

So Ashley picked up a few bombs on his way home from work one day and this weekend decided to do the deed. So Ashley donned a couple pairs of pants and shirts, some tube socks, gloves, a scarf and his trusty motorcycle helmet, and dragged himself to the attic. He duct taped a bomb to the end of a long pole and held tight a can of spray in the other hand. Ashley set the bomb off and stuck it into the crevice where the insects were hiding. Soon, they started to fly around, and with his visor fogging up from the scarf keeping all air from flowing in and out of his helmet, Ashley held the attacking yellow jackets off with his can of spray. He quickly got out of there and let the bomb do it's thing.

After this, he was skeptical he killed them all. Once he got down to the kitchen to wash his hands, he could hear the angry stingers buzzing around frantically above him in the attic. He figured he'd go outside, pick some tomatoes and come back in and see how things went. So about four hours later Ashley comes back inside and begins to get ready for bed. It's about 930PM now and Ashley's two kids are in bed, with he and his wife moving there fast. But, before he laid down for the night, he checked to see if he could hear any more yellow jackets. In his underwear, Ashley stood in the dark of his kitchen silently listening for any activity above him. He slowly crept his ear towards the ceiling, breathing slow so he could any signs from above. Nothing. It was dead silent. Just for a final check, he raised his knuckle to the ceiling to tap on it, and see if any noises came them. As soon as his knuckle touched the ceiling to rap, his hand went right through!

Ashley quickly pulled his hand out as hundreds of angry yellow jackets quickly come buzzing out of the newly formed hole in the ceiling! He shouted to his wife upstairs, "HERE THEY COME! GET THE KIDS OUT!" Ashley's wife grabbed the kids from their beds as Ashley moved quickly to find the cats. He grabbed one, and tossed it in the car in the garage just after Ashley's wife and kids climbed in. He quickly found the other cat, scared, under the bed upstairs. He grabbed it around the neck, pulled it out and tossed it in the car next. As Ashley returned to the kitchen from the garage he grabbed a half empty bee killer spray can, a fly swatter and the remaining two fumigation bombs. Suddenly Ashley is back in the kitchen with the enraged insects flying all around him! He frantically fires the bug spray all over hitting any and all objects moving and not. Luckily the room was dark with but one light on where the yellow jackets were drawn to. Ashley empties the spray can spraying anything he sees move!

Once everything was quite, he took a bomb, ignited it and held it right up to the hole in the ceiling. Hundreds of yellow jackets and larva began twitching and falling out all over the sink and on the floor. Ashley grabbed a screwdriver and rammed it into the ceiling in an effort to make the hole bigger so he could extinguish all of them! But the ceiling would no longer budge. So he ran to the garage and grabbed his jigsaw passing his wife, kids, and pets still in the car. He began to cut a two foot square of drywall all around the hole in the ceiling. Suddenly the cut portion comes crashing to the sink and floor with yellow jacket nests all over the place! Ashley released the second bomb into the attic and finally terminated any remaining resistance. About a half hour or so after that, Ashley told his wife and family that it was okay to come back in the house. He then screwed in a temporary piece of drywall into the ceiling to cover the already missing piece.

With bee and wasp spray all over the kitchen, dead yellow jackets spewed about and a trash bag completely full with the nest that was in the attic, the excitement was over and the cleaning began.

1 comment:

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