Tuesday, August 03, 2004

There's just something about being under water for me. Maybe it's the extreme stillness, or perhaps the silence, or even the complete freedom you have to go whichever which way you care to go. Under water you can fly, you have super hearing and can feel the water creepy around you. It's a time to let your thoughts run while and just experience the moment. That is what I did tonight. There's a lot going through my mind right now and I'm not quite yet how to take it all in.

Last night, I had an interesting dream. Hmmm, now that I think about it I won't get to details about the actual dream in this entry, there's too much to talk about leading up to it. The funny thing about this dream is how vivid it was. Never could I recall a dream longer than a few hours after I wake from it, aside from a few, but never ever in quite so much detail. Years ago I used to hate dreaming! My dreams mocked me with a life that I wanted to live. I eventually got to the point where I didn't even recall my dreams. For all I new I dreamed of nothing but emptiness and black the whole night. And I was very satisfied. Then years passed and things changed and I decided to dream a little and gain some insight into who I was. I would do things in my dreams that I wouldn't dare do in the real world, but still keeping my dreams to a minimum. Still I am reluctant to allow myself to remember all of my dreams at night for fear of getting absorbed in them once again. The thing about last night's dream is that I dreamed it years ago back when I didn't want to dream. The odd thing is I had forgotten about the original dream until last night. Now I wonder if the dreams I dreamed years ago are still hiding in the back of my mind waiting to reveal the past I left behind. In my dream last night, I remembered the events that took place years ago in the first dream. In my dream I was but the same age I was last time the dream took place, yet the years had still passed by. . .

The dream is your typical bizaro dream and if your curious I could lay out exactly what happened but it's not the events in the dream that interest me. What concerns me is what my mind is hiding without me even knowing it . . .

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